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Forum Post: N.R.A. Defends Right to Own Politicians

Posted 1 year ago on Jan. 30, 2013, 6:59 p.m. EST by WSmith (1943) from Cornelius, OR
This content is user submitted and not an official statement

January 30, 2013

N.R.A. Defends Right to Own Politicians

Posted by Andy Borowitz

lapierre-nra-boro.jpg

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In testimony before the Senate Judiciary Committee today, National Rifle Association C.E.O. Wayne LaPierre warned that the N.R.A. would vigorously oppose any legislation that “limits the sale, purchase, or ownership of politicians.”

“Politicians pose no danger to the public if used correctly,” said Mr. LaPierre, who claims to have over two hundred politicians in his personal collection. “Everyone hears about the bad guys in Congress. Well, the only thing that stops a bad guy with a vote is a good guy with a vote. I’m proud to be the owner of many of those guys.”

Mr. LaPierre’s comments drew a sharp rebuke from Carol Foyler, a politician-control advocate who has spent the past twelve years lobbying for stricter limits on the sale of politicians.

“Right now, a man like Wayne LaPierre can walk right into Congress and buy any politician he wants,” she said. “There’s no background check, no waiting period. And so hundreds of politicians are falling into the hands of people who are unstable and, quite frankly, dangerous.”

In addition to limiting the sale of politicians, Ms. Foyler said, it is time for society to take a look at the “sheer number” of politicians in the U.S.: “There’s no doubt that we would be safer if there were fewer of them.”

For his part, the N.R.A. leader ended his testimony by serving notice that he would “resist any attempt” to take away the hundreds of elected officials he says are legally his.

As if to illustrate that point, he clutched Sen. Chuck Grassley (R-Iowa) close to his chest and bellowed, “From my cold, dead hands.”

Read more: http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/borowitzreport/2013/01/nra-defends-right-to-own-politicians.html#ixzz2JVSqhlWg

http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/borowitzreport/2013/01/nra-defends-right-to-own-politicians.html?mbid=nl_Borowitz%20%2875%29

44 Comments

44 Comments


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[-] 1 points by cJessgo (729) from Port Jervis, PA 1 year ago

I can afford a firearm.Politicians are way out of my range.I know how to fire a firearm.To fire a politician is impossible.

[-] 1 points by WSmith (1943) from Cornelius, OR 1 year ago

Piker!!

[-] 1 points by DKAtoday (26518) from Coon Rapids, MN 1 year ago

They had Gabby Giffords speaking out again today. Something must be done ( too many children are dying ) - problem is - it will not be fixed in gun regulations - NOPE Sorry well intentioned people - It will be solved in dealing with the ills of society - Two Major ills are unemployment and not having a living wage for workers. For the insane crowd killers? - it should be obvious - BETTER MENTAL HEALTH CARE AND ACCESS TO IT.

[-] 0 points by WSmith (1943) from Cornelius, OR 1 year ago

Comprehensive, all fronts approach, let's do it yesterday. Public Health Care for all!!!! But bottom line: no gun, no massacre in a matter of seconds. 50% of the world's guns with 5% of the world's population (which includes 50%-90% of the world's RW wackos and propaganda), what could possibly go wrong?

People trump hobbies. Even if it saves just one life!

http://www.randirhodes.com/pages/rrnews.html?feed=393046&article=10722945

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/matthew-chapman/gun-violence-prevention_b_2577305.html

http://www.slate.com/blogs/the_slatest/2013/01/30/arizona_shooting_five_wounded_during_office_shooting_spree_at_same_time.html

http://topdocumentaryfilms.com/bowling-for-columbine/

The gun is... divide and conquer.

[-] 2 points by DKAtoday (26518) from Coon Rapids, MN 1 year ago

Ummmm - wow - did you think about this before you commented? AhahahaaAHahahaHeheeheeehehehee - sorry - just seemed appropriate.

[-] 0 points by WSmith (1943) from Cornelius, OR 1 year ago

No, Mike Moore is awesome! Some think a little ahead of his time.

[-] 1 points by DKAtoday (26518) from Coon Rapids, MN 1 year ago

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm - did you happen to edit your original comment?

[-] 0 points by WSmith (1943) from Cornelius, OR 1 year ago

I had second thoughts.

[-] 1 points by DKAtoday (26518) from Coon Rapids, MN 1 year ago

OK - it happens - just kinda fucked up my reply. No Bad - shit happens.

[-] 1 points by Narley (284) 1 year ago

Morbidly funny. Too close to the truth. Term limits would help.

[-] 0 points by WSmith (1943) from Cornelius, OR 1 year ago

Elections make the best term limits, but we want our Reps to be seasoned Pros, like the lobbyists the 1% pits against them!!

[-] 2 points by Narley (284) 1 year ago

There is truth in what you say. So maybe we start by doing something about lobbyists. But I still believe if we voted out every incumbent we would be much better off.

[-] 0 points by WSmith (1943) from Cornelius, OR 1 year ago

This is no time for wet behind the ears amateurs, unless you want to lose!

[-] 1 points by Narley (284) 1 year ago

Seems to me the professionals aren’t doing such a hot job. Maybe it’s time for fresh ideas and attitudes. They’d have to work at it to do any worse than what we have now.

[-] 1 points by DKAtoday (26518) from Coon Rapids, MN 1 year ago

Exactly why we are here - the People should be making decisions. Not f'n corpoRATions.

[-] 0 points by WSmith (1943) from Cornelius, OR 1 year ago

Oh, they're doing a stupendous job, endless gridlock and not one single whistle blower or conviction. Their owners are really getting their moneys worth.

[-] 1 points by gestopomillyy (1695) 1 year ago

hahahahahahahahahahahah

[-] 0 points by WSmith (1943) from Cornelius, OR 1 year ago

Defend our god given rights!! And quit laughing, you commie!!

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[-] 1 points by DKAtoday (26518) from Coon Rapids, MN 1 year ago

LOL - should make anyone spew - to realize that those in a position of power over the country and world are on someones payroll. ( so - no - not funny at all - but should make one spew involuntarily. )

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[-] 1 points by DKAtoday (26518) from Coon Rapids, MN 1 year ago

LOL - maybe we can put together a group? AhahahaaAHahahaHeheeheeehehehee

But one would only be a cheap side show.

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[-] 1 points by DKAtoday (26518) from Coon Rapids, MN 1 year ago

AHhhhhh empowerment - such an intoxicating feeling - never mind - we do not want to go there.

[-] 1 points by WSmith (1943) from Cornelius, OR 1 year ago

Then there is the abuse and unauthorized swaps and sales!

Our god given rights are in jeopardy here.

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[-] 1 points by DKAtoday (26518) from Coon Rapids, MN 1 year ago

LOL - ummmmm - yeah I think that there was some sort of upset for the last twelve years or so.

[-] 1 points by DKAtoday (26518) from Coon Rapids, MN 1 year ago

Derivatives - negative impact on the economy? - ZD surely U jest. That was the initial thermite meltdown - and that was a minor episode - wait till the other trillions in toxic derivatives go off.

[-] 0 points by WSmith (1943) from Cornelius, OR 1 year ago

Someone must start a charity!

[-] 1 points by DKAtoday (26518) from Coon Rapids, MN 1 year ago

Decrepit politicians home? I think some thing could be worked out in the peoples retirement coverage ( SS ). Hey?

[-] 0 points by WSmith (1943) from Cornelius, OR 1 year ago

Yeah, I think the Germans got that going just before the end of WW-2 in South America. Should be a perfect fit.

[-] 2 points by DKAtoday (26518) from Coon Rapids, MN 1 year ago

Hmmmmmmm Dr. Mengela giving them a check-up? Blue dye shots into the eyes and all?

[-] 1 points by DKAtoday (26518) from Coon Rapids, MN 1 year ago

OH - OK IT IS GETTING LATE AND THIS IS PRETTY MUCH ( pretty much ? ) A BS POST.

GoodNIGHT GoodMorning G-Day GoodAfternoon and Good Evening. Catch ya all later.

[-] 0 points by WSmith (1943) from Cornelius, OR 1 year ago

All Grandfathered into current code, too.

[-] 0 points by OTP (-203) from Tampa, FL 1 year ago

Are Obama and the Dems NRA politiicians? Because Im pretty sure they are moving onto immigration now.

[-] -1 points by DeathsHead1 (-111) 1 year ago

So are you saying that only your side can own a politician?

[-] -1 points by DeathsHead1 (-111) 1 year ago

So are you saying that only your side can own a politician?

[-] 1 points by WSmith (1943) from Cornelius, OR 1 year ago

Ask Boner.

[-] 1 points by DKAtoday (26518) from Coon Rapids, MN 1 year ago

But - He will cry.

[-] 0 points by WSmith (1943) from Cornelius, OR 1 year ago

Did you notice the Weeper of the House's color change to his bronzer? Hardly a hint of orange.

In the future SNL will simply play archival video of these unreal/surreal clowns. You can't make this shit up.

[-] 1 points by DKAtoday (26518) from Coon Rapids, MN 1 year ago

Comedians wet dreams.

[-] 1 points by DKAtoday (26518) from Coon Rapids, MN 1 year ago

Hey!!!! Kali worshiper ( seriously - R U a strangler? ). The people should rightfully own every single politician. Well as far as the job goes.

[-] 0 points by DeathsHead1 (-111) 1 year ago

Your ignorance is amusing.